I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
