I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Randomize
