is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize