i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
