New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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