I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
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