im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
