You work out of a Hotel?
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Randomize
