Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
