My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
