this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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