Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
