I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
