its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize