Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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