we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
