The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Randomize
