KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
