It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
