we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize