so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
