Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
