Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize