Do you still have your period?
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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