My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
