Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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