i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize