Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
