Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
