Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
