you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
