My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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