someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
