im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
she peed on how many people?
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
he just fucked me for my cheese..
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
