Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
