If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
