They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
