absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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