Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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