We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
