She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Crop dusting thru forever 21
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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