There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
