Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
