both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Someone signed my nipple.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
