I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
