I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
