If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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