okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Randomize
