yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize