White coat. Heels.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
