so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Randomize
