is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
