just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
