Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
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