This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
