I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
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