You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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