Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I am spending my child support on dildos
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
