You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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