Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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